It's time to come clean.
Look, I’ve been posting my writing here at dog and pony show on substack under the pseudonym ‘ringleader’ for four years now. But the jig is up. My handlers at the CIA have recently been let go thanks to DOGE, and I just received my last direct deposit as (per my job description) “an online provocateur tasked to infiltrate the “new right” online.” But frankly, just between you and I, dear reader, I had little to nil success anyway.
Sure, I’ve had some podcast guests that are stellar Kulturschaffende in the space, and I’ve even been able to strike up a collaborative friendship with
, a guy who went from making wignat Disney parodies to running a full scale veritable white man’s professional labor union in , but my higher ups always played it off like these were slim pickens. I think they didn’t want me getting too big for my britches, i guess. But hell, it’s not like they ever meant for me to be a Theo Von, Rogan, or Tucker platforming the best and brightest to the masses, anyway. Nor did I aspire to such.I always planned on putting in the bare minimum effort right from the start. All ringleader ever wanted was to be a small timer getting a little slice of that sweet psyop department dough. It was a dream come true. But now what do I have?
Four years of online rambling schizo breadcrumbs. Some online friends that I was turning over our every interaction with to my handler. Some friend I was! They probably won’t even respond to my DMs now once this is out in the open and DOGE releases the invoices. That’s why I’m getting ahead of it with this and coming clean. To all my online compadres, I’m sorry for being duplicitous. But our interactions were real I can assure you! It’s just that, unbeknownst to you, my agent was sitting in the cuck chair in the corner of the chat room.
I didn’t even save any of that money, either. All I bought was ammo and tannerite. What the hell was I even buying all those thousands of rounds for anyway? I only get a chance to go shoot once in a blue moon. Four years of stacking munitions when I could have been been paying off soul-crushing debt. What was I thinking!? Ah well.
In other words, this just stopped being fun for me.
So from here on out, you can expect more of my true beliefs to shine through. I had to toe a line for the department, somewhere between batshit and intellectual—y’know, just relatable enough to shift the Overton window a mite and get people to ask questions, but not crazy enough to start naming names. No more.
It’s only the real ringleader at dog and pony show now. Start smoothing out the creases in your tin foil because we’re gonna get a little kooky in here.
If you must unsubscribe, I understand. I really do. But hey, I least I told you! Not like 90% of these other jokers on the substack psyop dole. That’s gotta be worth something in internet points, right?
If I can entice you to stay, you’re in for a treat. Stay tuned for the next Spectacle of Dissent podcast episode featuring Alex Schultz of MILLION DOLLAR EXTREME. Do I get a release date for World Peace Season 2 (or whatever they end up calling it?) Is MDE also on the psyop dole? Just how many wiggers can do the jerk on the head of a vape rig?
For the answers these most pressing questions, you’ll wanna GO PAID TODAY. We’re talking $5 a month here. That’s less than a can of ZYN (tho I think ALP may be cheaper (and better)).
Next episode is the last I recorded while getting paid that psyop moolah, but I was already wise to my imminent lay off—Elon had Vivek shoot me a lil head-ups DM—so I let loose with it.
Now, it’s time to let it all hang out. Your paid membership not only includes the full archive and uncut podcast episodes, but also access to an exclusive writers’ workshop where you can A/B test your, no-doubt, very sensitive and well-thought out writing with a host of other wordcels.
See you on the other side.
Sincerely yours, (proud FORMER psyop asset) ringleader