9 Comments
User's avatar
Centaur Write Satyr, MBA's avatar

Canadian rednecks, remembering their southern US Jew heritage, joins America as the 51st state. Its new name makes it invulnerable to criticism: “Super Israel”

Expand full comment
The 13th Grade's avatar

This is taking things in the wrong direction. I want secession, damn it.

Expand full comment
The 13th Grade's avatar

Not what I mean. I’m a Southerner. Why should some moose enthusiast get to secede when I can’t?

Expand full comment
ringleader's avatar

I feel you brother. Yea it’s a funky situation that somehow Canada has a more streamlined route to secession than we do. And of course the irony im pointing out in this piece is that our good old Judah P. is likely to thank for this odd state of affairs.

The silver lining as I see it is that any successful secession is productive for waking people up to the potential of secession. Things will have to get much worse and much more polarized before any Southern state starts seriously considering secession, though.

At this rate, we’ll probably see Yankee states pushing for it again before too long.

Expand full comment
The 13th Grade's avatar

“At this rate, we’ll probably see Yankee states pushing for it again before too long.”

Bye, Felicia.

Expand full comment
ringleader's avatar

My sentiment exactly 🎉

Expand full comment
ringleader's avatar

Likewise! This would at least get a precedent of secession on the table, even if they ended up squandering it by joining the U.S.

Expand full comment
N of 1's avatar

The electoral gains for the US are selfishly appealing in the short-term. but I’d prefer full autonomy as countries to help normalize the radical decentralization measures I believe necessary to save heritage North Americans.

In some ways our tax structure is even more punitively progressive than Canada’s. An independent Alberta and Sasquatch government (lol) should fund themselves with light universal tariffs at most.

Expand full comment
ringleader's avatar

As a matter of principle I’m with you on this 💯

Expand full comment